As one approaches a New Year, one has the tendency to look back on the preceding year. If you have reached the twilight years, one looks back at all the preceding years, and reminisce about all the good things, the not so good things and the downright ugly things that have occurred over the years.
As I have looked back, I have decided that I have been personally blessed during the past year. The one thing that advanced age allows is the ability to enjoy the small things, like waking up each morning on this side of the grass and smiling when you realize that the pain in your back doesn’t mean you need back surgery, but rather a new mattress. When you walk by a mirror and jump because you see your mother staring back at you and realize that it isn’t really all that bad. And, that line on my face that I have called a laugh line is really a wrinkle and should be embraced as a badge of accomplishment because I made it. I realize that being called ma’am is a sign of respect, especially in these times.
What I do find the most disturbing and the most distressing is the culture or lack of it in this country. I am not talking directly about politicians because most are classless, tactless and depraved with the moral turpitude of a flea, but at least, we can vote them out every two and four years.
What is of the most concern to me is the state of our culture, our society. We have none. Millions of parents have abdicated their responsibility to rear their children as good people with morals, character and to become responsible good citizens. Instead our society is being forced to accept foul-mouth, ignorant, brainless, dumb, idiotic, imbecilic, moronic, stupid, witless; foolish, and senseless children who exhibit these same characteristics as adults. We have only to look to the educational and crime statistics for confirmation.
We are creating a generation of whiners and complainers, from the president on down who make excuses and fail to step up to the plate and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. Everyone wants fame and fortune, but no one wants to work for it or to prepare themselves or make sacrifices. We have become a society that wants instant gratification.
We have only to look at those parents who pretended their child was lost in a balloon in order to get a reality TV show. They didn’t care about the resources that were expended or the lives they endangered. They didn’t care about anyone except themselves, not even the example they were setting for their children. Their apology rang hollow because they were not sorry for what they did, but because they got caught.
Who can forget the rise to celebrity-hood and fortune by Paris Hilton and the Khardashians? They have no talent, and no skills. What are their claims to fame-their whorish behaviour? They were videotaped having SEX. How much intelligence does it take to have SEX? Dogs do it, cats do it, and even fleas know how to do it. Yet, the media glorifies, and publicizes the antics of these individuals. And, don’t let me get started on Tiger Woods and his escapades. He knew he was married and yet he persisted on behaving in a doggish manner and blatantly carrying on with a bunch of whores, whose faces are plastered all over the television and internet. They are probably being compensated handsomely for sharing their experiences with the world.
What are we saying to the next generation? It is alright to be a whore, a prostitute, an adulterer, a thief, a pimp, and a slut as long as you get big bucks for it. One doesn’t need to go to school and learn a skill because it is only necessary to lie in a bed and engage in debauchery, then place it on YouTube and become instantly famous and rich. What does that say about us?
I am not naĂŻve and nor do I think that people have not always engaged in these inappropriate behaviours. Casanova is renown in literature for his many conquests in 17th century Europe. There was the Marquis de Sade whose exploits gave us the meaning of sadism. Some people have always behaved like animals, but the thing that is different today is that, there is no shame, no guilt and very few consequences to behaving in this manner.
Society imposed restraints on inappropriate behaviours by using a variety of methods, some of which were over the top, but nevertheless acted as a constraint. My aunt, who we lovingly called Snooky, got pregnant when she about 17 years old. My grandfather promptly went to the boy’s house, after he and my grandmother found out, and asked “When he was going to marry Snooky? We don’t have this kind of thing in my family,” he announced. His parents agreed that this was a disgrace, not to be tolerated. They had to get married (a shot gun wedding) before she started “to show.” Two families came together and decided the consequences for their children behaving badly. Did they protest? I am sure they did, but in the end, they married and their child was born “legitimately.” Was this a drastic reaction to the situation? No, by the standards and expectations of early 20th century mores. It did not stop individuals from engaging in pre-marital sex but it certainly placed consequences on them as a result of their decisions.
Whether it was inappropriate social behaviour or criminal activity, the community imposed blatant or subtle sanctions against individuals who did not adhere to the customs of the day. Was it harsh? Perhaps. Would I advocate a return to such draconian rules? Yes. However, the problem today is that we have very few standards, no expectations and no consequences for bad behaviour. Instead of punishing bad behaviour, we excuse it, we reward it and we glorify it. There must be a middle ground between the rigid rules of the early 20th century and the indulgent, overly tolerant; anything goes society that we live in.
If society does not find a way to self-impose standards of morality, principles and values, then we shall surely sink into an abyss of chaos that has afflicted so many civilizations before us.
—–Â
Newspaper publisher White has published one book, Charlottesville: the African-American community and has a new book about to be published, Possum got big ears, which are short stories about a black child growing up in the 50s and 60s in urban America. They are stories of survival, faith and determination.
White is divorced and the mother of three children, Sherman, Jr., a computer analyst, David, president of Exit 10 Advertising Agency in Baltimore, Maryland and Dana, a foreign policy analyst with the Senate Armed Services Committee. She has one grandchild. If you would like more information, please send an email to tribune54@gmail.com

























